Random Economic Thoughts
Random thoughts on the current economic recession.
1. They say that because more people are broke, burglaries are going to increase. But if that’s true, then won’t these burglars be in for a surprise when they climb inside our houses and realize the rest of us don’t have anything to take, either? Jokes on you, home invaders!
2. The government apparently thinks that the best way for us citizens to deal with being low on money is to give them what little money we do have left and let them spend it. There’s no joke following that last sentence. It was funny enough on it’s own. In fact let me me write that sentence again, because it gets more funny every time I type it. Here goes: “The government thinks the best way for us to deal with being low on money is for us to give them what money we do have left and let them spend it!” Oh government, you’re hiliarious! You should do stand-up!
3. The government says that repairing some highways and maintaining a few bridges will be the perfect way to pull us out of this recession. As if we didn’t already know that! When your family saw that times were tough a few months ago , didn’t the head of your household gather the family around the table and say, “Kids, my job has cut my hours, the house has lost half its value, and our portfolio is in the tank. So ya’ll know the obvious thing we have to do in response to this financial strain? Duh. Of course we’re going clean the pool, scoop out the gutters, and trim our trees. Everyone knows that’s how you deal with tough economic times! After we do that, everything will be just fine!”
4. They say we need to keep bailing out the auto industry with our own tax dollars. Were you planning on buying a car anytime soon? Yeah, me either. Especially not since they just took my money to bail out the auto industry! I was planning on using that money for a down payment on a car! So in a way, I can’t give my money to the auto industry, because the government forced me to give my money to the auto industry. And doesn’t this mean that if the government took our car money and gave it to the car industry, that the car industry will still fail since none of us can buy anything from them right now since we now have no car money? Am I missing a piece of the puzzle here? Probably. But who cares? I’m not here to be accurate. I’m just here to be funny. Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you’re not so funny, either, buddy! I hereby challenge you to a funny-off. OK, actually, I don’t because I don’t know what that is, either. So let’s get back to me complaining about us all being broke.
5. How come we all lost our money just around the time we could finally afford gas again? This time last year, we could afford things - we just couldn’t afford to pick them up. Compare that to this year, where we can’t afford anything, but have a full take of gas in the car and can drive around and look at all the stores full of things we can’t even come close to buying right now.
In conclusion, times are tough. I wish I had more.
In further conclusion, the best times in many other places are still way worse than the worst times are in America. I’m sure we’ll be fine. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a new car. Maybe I should’ve cleaned my gutters a little better.